Friday, October 29, 2010

Back in the Saddle

So I started back to work yesterday after taking a few days off to recover from my first treatment.  I was pretty wiped out from Saturday to Wednesday.  I was very tired, had a lot of back pain (from my shot), was grumpy and emotional and was very agitated and antsy -- just nothing felt right and I could not get comfortable at any time.  I also suffered from some restless, sleepless nights before discovering the joys of Ambiene.  


By this point I've figured out the ins and outs of all of my drugs and have finally gotten them down so that I can feel relatively normal and not feel like I want to jump out of my skin -- so that's a positive.  


I continue to feel better and stronger everyday.  I guess the hard part is knowing that I'm working toward a ticking clock and in a week and a half, I'm going to have to get injected again and start the process over.  At least this time I know what to expect and can hopefully head off some of the symptoms before they start.  


I have not done a very good job with keeping in touch with people over the last few days and I apologize.  It really was all I could do not to jump out of my skin, and I had no patience for the internet.  Now that I'm back to my "almost normal" self, I should be much more responsive.  


A few weeks ago, Ben and I went to the FDR Memorial and the Jefferson memorial one evening.  It was very beautiful at night and not at all crowded.  I had recently found out that I would have to undergo chemo and I was thoroughly freaked out by the whole thing.  While at the FDR Memorial, I saw this quote etched at the entrance behind a statue of FDR in his wheelchair and it really struck me:


"Franklin's illness gave him strength and courage he had not had before. He had to think out the fundamentals of living and learn the greatest of all lessons -- infinite patience and never-ending persistence." - Eleanor Roosevelt


And I can only hope that I too can gain this patience and persistence from my situation and I learn to take things slowly and appreciate more of the everyday joys.


As for this weekend, I'm not sure yet what we have planned.  There is the March to Retore Sanity happening on Capitol Hill this weekend, but we'll have to see how I'm feeling.  I know Ben is psyched for a new TV show called "The Walking Dead" on Sunday (its a zombie show).  And I wouldn't mind trying to find a Halloween Party or event, now that I have the best costume (thanks to my office costume party).  I'll post a picture.    Let me know if you have an suggestions!


Love you all!


Erin

3 comments:

  1. so proud of you for what you've accomplished the last few days. It was so nice to have you back. :)

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  2. thinking out the fundamentals of living----patience and never ending persistence" I had never read this! thanks Erin!
    I have friends who went to DC today for us who couldn't go and they said it was amazing!
    Going to see the Indigo girls, one of Ashly's favorites. Do you like them? So glad you are feeling better. this is a good time to use legal drugs like Ambien and for those crawling out of your skin days, Ativan. It really helped my friend on those after chemo days! her life is so good and healthy right now by the way! It does get better, i promise! much love

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