Its a very odd moment when you realize that your life has become a Lifetime movie. I mean, I really have seen a movie that is eerily similar to at least the beginnings of my situation. Its the one where a 27 year old female whose happy and has a relatively normal life is diagnosed with breast cancer despite having little to no family history. She's diagnosed, spends the next few weeks trying to comprehend and then, as with all "good" Lifetime movies, hijinks ensue.
And I think it might be a cosmic joke that I was diagnosed right before October, which as we all know is Breast Cancer Awareness month. The first week or two were difficult to handle. Every time I saw pink or someone promoting it I just felt bitter, but as I've progressed and accepted everything I've begun to appreciate the significance of having a very well-funded ailment. So for now, my feelings about the color pink are mixed -- I guess its still a love/hate relationship.
In general, this whole experience has been very unique. Its been everything from frustrating and upsetting to hilarious and touching. As you can imagine, dealing with doctors, labs and insurance companies is not very fun -- and when you try to cram everything into 3 weeks, it gets very challenging to say the least. But I do have to say that its been great to know that I have so many people standing behind me through this. The support that I've received from everyone that knows has been so touching and it helps to have so many people who are there to help me out and make me smile through all of this. So thank you to everyone who has sent positive thoughts my way and been so supportive.
There are a lot of overwhelming aspects of having breast cancer, but the first major hurdle I have to clear is chemo. I start treatment this week -- just 3 weeks after receiving my diagnosis and I barely feel prepared for it. I've gone out and purchased all of the recommended comfort and care items. I've started to put together a "bag o' fun" to take with me on treatment days. I've started wig/scarf shopping (yes, I will have the pleasure of going "G.I. Jane"). I've attended "Chemo 101" through my doctor's office where I met an interesting cast of characters who are also about to begin treatment (and I can tell you that watching someone eat Eggo waffles doused in yogurt at 9am in the morning is, while highly disgusting, actually a great distraction from feeling upset about the chemo side effects -- it really helps you channel your bad feelings toward the idiot eating it). But even after all of this, I still don't really feel prepared.
I keep thinking when I'm done with all of this, I will be a stronger person. And I hope that I can use this experience and turn it into something positive one day. Until then, I will just try to stay positive and get through one day at a time. So let the countdown begin -- I should hopefully be done with chemo sometime in early March. Then its time for a little surgery, maybe some radiation...piece of cake!
In an attempt to keep everyone updated and hopefully to give me something therapeutic to do, I've started this blog. We'll see how successful I am at keeping it up to date -- I will do my best. And please, keep those distractions coming.
Love you all!