Monday, October 18, 2010

My life is a Lifetime movie.

Its a very odd moment when you realize that your life has become a Lifetime movie.  I mean, I really have seen a movie that is eerily similar to at least the beginnings of my situation.  Its the one where a 27 year old female whose happy and has a relatively normal life is diagnosed with breast cancer despite having little to no family history.  She's diagnosed, spends the next few weeks trying to comprehend and then, as with all "good" Lifetime movies, hijinks ensue. 
And I think it might be a cosmic joke that I was diagnosed right before October, which as we all know is Breast Cancer Awareness month.  The first week or two were difficult to handle.  Every time I saw pink or someone promoting it I just felt bitter, but as I've progressed and accepted everything I've begun to appreciate the significance of having a very well-funded ailment.  So for now, my feelings about the color pink are mixed -- I guess its still a love/hate relationship.

In general, this whole experience has been very unique.  Its been everything from frustrating and upsetting to hilarious and touching.  As you can imagine, dealing with doctors, labs and insurance companies is not very fun -- and when you try to cram everything into 3 weeks, it gets very challenging to say the least.  But I do have to say that its been great to know that I have so many people standing behind me through this.  The support that I've received from everyone that knows has been so touching and it helps to have so many people who are there to help me out and make me smile through all of this.  So thank you to everyone who has sent positive thoughts my way and been so supportive.

There are a lot of overwhelming aspects of having breast cancer, but the first major hurdle I have to clear is chemo.  I start treatment this week -- just 3 weeks after receiving my diagnosis and I barely feel prepared for it.  I've gone out and purchased all of the recommended comfort and care items.  I've started to put together a "bag o' fun" to take with me on treatment days.  I've started wig/scarf shopping (yes, I will have the pleasure of going "G.I. Jane").  I've attended "Chemo 101" through my doctor's office where I met an interesting cast of characters who are also about to begin treatment (and I can tell you that watching someone eat Eggo waffles doused in yogurt at 9am in the morning is, while highly disgusting, actually a great distraction from feeling upset about the chemo side effects -- it really helps you channel your bad feelings toward the idiot eating it).  But even after all of this, I still don't really feel prepared. 

I keep thinking when I'm done with all of this, I will be a stronger person.  And I hope that I can use this experience and turn it into something positive one day.  Until then, I will just try to stay positive and get through one day at a time.  So let the countdown begin -- I should hopefully be done with chemo sometime in early March.  Then its time for a little surgery, maybe some radiation...piece of cake!

In an attempt to keep everyone updated and hopefully to give me something therapeutic to do, I've started this blog.  We'll see how successful I am at keeping it up to date -- I will do my best.  And please, keep those distractions coming.

Love you all!



  1. 10, 9, 8, 7, 6.................we are here on the countdown Erin. We are here for the ups and the downs. I am so grateful you have ask us to come along with you. It helps us not feel so helpless and we will grow. You are in our hearts!

    distraction # 1--Halloween is in 13 days!

  2. Lifetime movies usually have happy endings...and so will yours. :) xoxoxo. love you and thinking of you every day.

  3. Well Erin, it truly is a "family affair" in that you know we do understand what you are facing since your little nephew is still on the chemo. But we want to encourage you as you and so many others have encouraged us through the cancer battle. What Satan meant for evil, God will use for Good. Already so many people have been brought together for the purpose of praying for you. And you are so loved by so many that praying for you is the greatest thing any of us can do. Yes the road ahead is tough and we are so sorry you have to walk this path, but please know you are not walking it alone. Jesus, family, and a multitude of friends are in lock-step with you. We love you! Melinda, Marvin, Hanna, Sarah, Timothy "the Roses"

  4. When i stand at the "It's Get's Better" rally today, I will also be standing there hoping and praying that your journey, "Gets Better Too". And i know it will!!! You have done so much to help others, now it is our turn to help you! Love you, Lou Ann and Family

  5. Erin,
    Thanks for sharing your 'world of pink' via this blog! Please know our thoughts, prayers and love are with you today and every day!
    Aunt Nancy

  6. Erin - my best thoughts and wishes go out to you. If you want me to bring Sadie, over, let me know. She's a great cuddler - she'll give you lots of kisses!!!