So the second round of chemo has been better and not so better. The physical side effects have not been as bad this time around... still lots of tiredness, but not the same level of physical discomfort. The problem this time around has been mental. As I've recently learned, depression is a common side effect of chemo. I started feeling the effects on Monday and then again today. And it seems to hit me most in the morning.
I mostly hate this new side effect because it is so unlike me. I'm usually a pretty upbeat, optimistic person and I hate having these thoughts that I'm not in control of. It makes complete sense, of course, that I would have to deal with this since my whole body is now completely chemically imbalanced and my hormones are out of whack. But I still don't like it. Not one bit. I know I can get through this, its just hard to deal with right now because I can't see the end of it.
The other side effect I'm having is being very anti-clutter and things. I used to enjoy shopping and buying things but now I just feel like I have too much stuff and no place to put any of it. Ben is doing a great job dealing with my anti-clutter tendencies. He's been so patient and strong through all of this and I'm so lucky to have him as a support. I'm also lucky to have the rest of you in my strong network of support -- you really help keep me going with your words of support. So, thank you.
I start back at work tomorrow, so I think that should keep me distracted and occupied for the time being. I also need to find a hobby, so any suggestions are welcome.
Here's hoping my new medicine helps me out of this funk.